I have been on and off the scene for the past 30 years. Started off at panama's, when Jim was still a cook there. After he bought it, I went to work for him and Jen as a server.
Back then, we all wore black skirts, cumber buns and white tux shirts with a tie. (short black skirts). The 1st time I had a douche bag drunk put his hand up my skirt, about 4 months into my job, I slammed a tray of drinks in his face. This was when the server's knew how to serve too. The drink tray was stacked 3 drinks high. Ha! Well shoot and damn.
Jen, who managed the bar, (Jimmy Z) pulled me from the floor, asked if I wanted a drink, (baileys and coffee) and then put me on the door. That is how I got my start as a bouncer.
Anyway, back to the scene. Back then we had some big bands coming through, and so I ended up knowing a lot of musicians. Some stayed local, and a lot went big.
One of the cocktail waitress was a good friend of mine, and we would go for breakfast after our shift most nights. We both had daughters the same age. One night at breakfast, she looked at me and said, we can't hang out any more. I asked why? This was shocking to me. We were really close, or so I thought. She said because she had heard that I was sleeping with all, ALL, the band members. WOWZA, did this blow my mind. Yes, I was single and knew a lot of them, hung out with some, and are still very close to some of them, but sleeping with them? No. Where the hell was this coming from? I dated a few friends of musicians, but did not "sleep around" Had a lot of fun, and did some crazy shit with girlfriends, but again, wow.
I talked with a friend of mine who was like a brother to me. I asked him what he thought. By then, I was contracting for the liquor board, and was working other Seattle area clubs. I was an I.D. expert at this point and managed several security teams in different venues. He said to me, "you take 1/2 of what you hear, cut that in 1/2, and MAYBE, a 1/3 of that MIGHT be true.
There is a point to this post, and I'm trying not to digress here. Bottom line. Personal business should stay personal, and professional business should stay professional. Most people in the industry know whats what. Most are still basic decent good humans. In fact, musicians, are some of the most loving giving people I know. You always get your nut case, that goes for any group of people. The jealous ones, the ones who want to hold you back because they know you shine. Don't let them. Go for what makes you happy and keep going for it. I did, and still do, and won't give up.
I have come full circle now, after being married 16 years, but I am the happiest I have been in a long time. It may not be the life some people think I should have, but that is their problem, not mine.
Stay true to your self, always. It's the only way you can stay true to someone else.