Friday, July 18, 2014

6 weeks

I just spent the last 6 weeks with a man that I have known since 2011. I met him on the music scene. In fact I met him through the person I was dating at the time. 

I look at my life, and wonder at times what god really has in store for me. All the people, all my friends, even family, that all mix in, in this circle I have been in since I turned 14. 

The people he knows, the people I know, where he lives now,  where I am now. Irony. Life's Irony. My granddaughter Taytem, has grandparents on Mercer Island. Funny, Bobby, knows them, has known them for years. 

He lives in Lake Stevens, where I grew up. My stomping frounds, my daughter's old stomping grounds, her dads, my son's now, and now Bobby's. 

I browsed through our messages, clear back to 2011, and it's funny, I think he was always in my mind. He was respecful, sweet, kind and funny, and I think that there was an underlying attraction I was unwilling to admit due to circumstances. He was the one I would reach out too, when things were going sideways, and looking at his responses to me, I was the one he was reaching out to also. 

We had hung out on the music scene at different shows, when we were out together, me, him, other people. But When I would walk into a venue, I always seemed to gravitate to him. A quick hug, and hello, a picture, small talk. 

About 10 weeks ago, He messaged me, asked what I was up to, and did I want to go hang out. I was working, and getting sicker, so turned him down for that evening, but  said I would love to anytime I was not working. I tried really hard to keep him in the "Friend Zone" , but it didn't last long... 2 weeks tops, and everyhing went from there. 

We have been inseperable since 6 weeks ago. Tonight is the 1st time I have not been with him since we got together, and it's more than sexual attraction, although that is a plus. :) He makes me smile, and laugh, he's kind and caring and a good man. I have not had that for a long time. He makes me feel valued, he makes me feel loved, in away I have not been loved before. 

I don't know where this is going, but I know what I want. I think he does too. To be happy, and loved and have a companion that will be beside you no matter what. I think we got this.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

We dance.....

Looking back on some of my blogs I touch a lot on fate, destiny or design. Living the life I do, I often question if I am where I am because of any of those, or one of them, or all of them. 

The last 4 years has been a whirlwind of change, moving, music, new friends, old friends. I find myself questioning everything. I have been off and on the music scene for the last 30 years. I feel like I know everyone, by being in the same place they were, or knowing the same people. 

4 years ago, My life went up-side down once again. I was single all of a sudden. On the social end, I was out, meeting people, going to shows, dancing and then dating. I met a musician through the man I was dating. I felt a click, however I was in a exclusive relationship. We'd see him, out and about, at different shows and private partys. I always thought he was a lovely man. Kind and sweet, a gentleman. 

In April of this year, I moved into a friends home, starting over again. This man, Bobby, and I started hanging out more and more. Not by intention, not at 1st. We just started to connect more at events and shows. 

At the begninning of May, I had him friend zoned. We laugh about this. Neither of us had the intentions of going where we are now, but we keep going there. He's southeren, and a gentleman, he makes me laugh, and he's good to me. we dance. We both were raised country. Same morals and values, and even the same political and religious views.  Right now I can't bare the thought of him going back to his plave without me, or vice versa, me being at my place without him. 

We have so much in common, it's surreal. We have talked about the people we have known through the years, and the places we have hung out and been at, most likely at the same time, and both of us wonder why we did not cross paths then, instead of now, but it is what it is. 

So, we see where this goes.