Sunday, February 8, 2015

A brief moment in time

I knew you for 5 years. I became more than just you're friend for the last 9 months of your life. 

In looking back over our time together we were happiest when we were out and about, listening to music, going to open jams, seeing friends, and being on the move. We shared a common love of music and people. 

In getting to know you, I found we had many things in common. Our love of country music, and classic movies. Westerns, and old musicals. On the nights we would stay in, whether it was at the lake house or the town house, we would put on music and dance. 
We also had the same moral compass, and values, when it came to marriage, relationship's  and children. I think that is what I loved most about you. 

You wanted me to teach you how to dance. The old way of dancing, 3 step, or swing, and then more competitive dance, salsa and Paso Doble. I did get to teach you some more complicated moves, and you had those down pat, I regret we did not get to use them when we were out and about. 

We both loved the serenity of the water, and when we looked at potential places to live together we always searched in area's that had water close by.We both loved going to the dock in Lake Stevens to fish. Those moments with you, I will treasure always. They were the calmest times. 

It's funny how my life circle always comes back to where I grew up at. We talked about this, where we both had been in life. The clubs and studios we both were apart of, and yet we never crossed paths.  You would laugh and tell me not to read anything into it. It was what it was. However, that was not my belief, nor was it your's. 

I always teased you for the butterfly tattoo. Why would a man would get one of that particular mythical creature when it was more to a womans liking? I never asked you, and when I would tease, you were always cryptic in your answer to me. This was so like you, so I would let it go, to honor who you were. 

In looking back over the last 9 months, the signs were there for me, but I did not see them for what they were. This is the painful part. I loved you, and would have done anything for you, You knew that and I think that is why you pursued me in the 1st place, and then later were surprised by who I actually was. This is when we truely fell in love. 

I wish you would have trusted me, just a little bit more. I wish you would have said. But you did not. This also was so totally you, and again I had to honor you. I think you knew you could have told me, but you were also honoring me in a way, or you thought you were. That was the one thing you truly did not know about me, that I would have done anything within my power to make your last moments the happiest they could have been. 

Our last 2 outings were in November of 2014. Prior to these, we had pretty much stopped going out. We watched a lot of movies, played a lot of music, and danced on our porch. I could see the pain you were in at the fleetwood mac concert. I could see it more at Jano's harvest party. I thought it was you're shoulder, and you let me believe that. I even knew it was a struggle for you to get out to those last 2 events, yet you did it for me.

Beautiful man, do you know how much you were loved? How much you will be missed? I see butterflys everywhere now and it is not even spring. I see them in photo's, in pictures in store windows that I wander by. I believe that it is you, still watching over me.

You had the most beautiful music playing on your passage to heaven. As it should be. You were my angel in life, and you are my angel in death.  I only had you for a brief moment in time, such a short time, yet our love was rare and beautiful, like the mythical creature, your butterfly. 

To the man with the sweetest heart and soul ever known. May you rest in the arms of the angels, soar with the butterflys that you represented so well. 

They say that time in heaven is compared to a "blink of an eye" for us here on earth. It helps me to think of you running ahead through a field of wildflowers and butterflys; so happy, and so caught up in what you are doing that by the time you look behind you, I will already be there.  I love you with all my heart and soul Bobby G. and will forever look for you in the butterflys. 

Bobby G. Riddle. 

May 11th 1956 - January 20th 2015 

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