Saturday, May 14, 2011

He's leaving me.............

This is for Antony, AKA, Ahmed, A-town, Cotton, Pizza, and the rest of my boys that I have gotten to know in the last 3 years.

On Thursday, May 12 2011, I watched as my 15 year old 1st born son, became a 2nd class petty officer and his unit won the most distinguished unit award since 2007.

Watching the ceremonies, and awards being given, the slide show of the past year, and seeing all the kids, I have driven around to parking duties, volunteer clubs, food drives, and other ROTC events, it struck me so hard that my son is a young man, and will be leaving me in 2 years, My heart broke. Sitting there with tears streaming down my face, I thought.. wow. He's a young man, and going on with his life, and what the F*K am I going to do with out him???

Antony.. What to tell you about this kid. I fought for him my whole life, his whole life, and when things got rough for us this past year, he stepped up and became my rock. He's an amazing young man. (I know, I call him a boy) but he's not, he's so much more.

He's smart, intuitive, sensitive, strong, and loyal. He's a smartass, like me, he knows how to roll with the punches, and he's tough. I taught him how to love life, no matter what comes our way, and he does.

I never thought I would miss my kids. I love them all in different ways. Krystal is my 1st born daughter, and I am proud as hell of her. Antony is my 1st born son, and again, I am proud as hell of him. Jacob, is my 1st born son by Paul, and so he holds a special place too. Gabriel is the baby of the family, and of course, also holds a that special place. Alexis, is my 1st born grand child, another special place.

I am not your typical soccer mom, not June Cleaver, nor Betty Crocker, HA! Nope.. so I never thought I would miss my kids in the typical way a mother does. Honestly, I can't stand my kids 1/2 the time. They drive me bat shit as my Favorite Aunt would say.

My parents raised me with strong ethics and morals, Church and family, that was #1, and roots. I hated it. I swore to god I was NOT going to be like my parents. I was not going to raise my kids the way they did. I would NOT have empty nest syndrome! Well I F*Ked that one up. God just laughed at me again. Oh, I didn't raise them EXACTLY like mom and dad, who by the way have been married 58 years this year, and still kicking, but somewhere in there, I think I got it right, which just messed up my plans of wanting my own life.

I will miss the HELL out of Antony, and I suppose, the other kids when it is their time to fly the coop.

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