Saturday, June 9, 2012

Pop Quiz for teens: How do your clothes get clean?

A friend of mine recently mentioned that her son said she was boring. So, that got me to thinking to things teenagers may not be picking up on with regards to parents. 

Not so short a lesson on why your parents may be boring. 

I know the following won't be read by a teenager, but it may give some parents out there some relief in knowing they are not alone. 

So, you may have noticed your parents absence, during the day, Monday through Friday. They do something called work, for reasons mostly having to do with you, taxes, and current trends in prices on just about everything. They expect to be doing it for years to come. 

Work is how they pay for the house you live in, the food you eat, the clothes you wear and the car you drive, and the tickets, you need, to see the whatever it is concert this weekend. I won't even mention the overages on your cell phone plans and the late fee's on movie rentals. 

Work is usually from 8am to 5pm, Monday through Friday, but because of traffic, add on an hour each way for the commute. This means they get up as late as 6am to dress and eat, and get home as early as 6pm, if everything goes well. That is not always so, several times a week, expect them to be late. Once in awhile something at work acquires the label, "Important Project" (parents hear this term like it is coming through a wind tunnel in slow motion) this "project" requires them to work a Saturday. No, they cannot skip it.

They work for someone known as "the boss" (another term heard in slow motion)  By the way, do you think your teachers are tough? Do they make you do things that seem pointless? Do you think they don't understand how tired you are, or that you're having a hard time because Tiffany just dumped Brad, and your stressed about what Brad might do? Wait a few years, they you will meet some of the bosses out there. 

To prepare for this you should know that their are some bosses out there that would make Attila the Hun, curl up in a fetal position and blubber for mercy. Then that boss would fire him for crying on company time. 

So after work, your parents get home. Unless they enjoy endless tuna sandwiches, or frozen pizza from a box, they get to make dinner. As they start cooking, they wonder, "are those the same dishes that were in the sink last night?" Didn't we ask someone to put them in the dishwasher, and by use of incalculable reserves of energy, and unimaginable use of dexterity,  PRESS THE ON BUTTON? 

Time for the "dish fairy" to put in an appearance, sweep the house for dishes and plates, and do them. That way, everyone, has something to eat from! 

They serve dinner. 

This again? You know I don't like casserole, (meat, tuna, stew, chops, ribs, soup, goulash, fish, rice, beans, carrots, potatoes, salads, ect) Can't you guys ever make anything else? 

They finish dinner, put the dishes in the sink, and with a sense of futility, ask if someone can load the dishes and run the dishwasher for tomorrow. 

As they finally settle into the den, they hear a voice yelling, "I don't have any clothes for tomorrow!" <<< Why don't you pull some from that humongous pile in your room, and put them in the washer. When they are done, transfer them from the washer to the dryer, and dry them. Oh, and then put them away!  Of course I am hollering over the sound of their xbox, ps3, TV, ect... I have been at metal concerts that have been quieter and more peaceful than this. (They hear the sound of doors slamming) 

They go to bed in order to rest up for the day. Then come's the weekend. This is when they wash the car, buy groceries, mow the lawn, clean the house, fix leaky faucets, return movies to the store, and occasionally buy the 1st new blouse, or shirt, they've had in over a year. 

On Sunday night, they drift into sleep, knowing that tomorrow is Monday and the cycle starts all over again. It may seem boring to you, but it seems more like busy to them. They can't dodge any of it, and the good ones don't even try. They funny thing is, that in the end, most of them love doinging it. (although they won't admit it, and frequently look back on it with fond memories) 

That is if they're not arrested for boiling you in oil first!

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