Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Dress Rehearsal

If I've learned anything in life, its now. Do it now, don't wait for it.

My sister in law, who has passed on now, planned her life. You know, the 5 year plan, 10 year plan, college, marriage, house, children....ect...then she was diagnosed with colon cancer.

She once said to me, years ago, when our oldest boys were small...about a year old,  maybe a bit older. "I wish I was more like you". I was stunned....more like me how I asked? She wouldn't meet my eyes when she answered...but said, you know, "brave". (Another stunner) She was married to my older brother, the one that everyone in my life wanted me to be more like.

Grounded I guess, with goals and plans. I was not even close to that. I was newly divorced from my oldest son's dad, and pregnant with my second son. Married a 2nd time. No degree, and very little college. I was working for D.O.D, on contract, and going no where.

She, on the other hand was a college Economics professor, looking at tenure. They owned (or I should say, were buying ) their own house. We were currently renting, and contemplating a move back to his parents. Oh, I had goals, but I had this very bad habit of putting others before myself, so I kept setting those goals aside.

In 2001, I started making noises about going back to college for my law degree. I had done a lot of the prerequisites in my younger years, so I started looking into it. By November however, I once again set all that aside. Having a surprise pregnancy, getting guardianship of my then one year old granddaughter, and then being diagnosed with a very rare illness, I had to. (Or so I believed)
That illness consumed me, and my identity for a long time.....I'd say until about 2006 when I just said screw it, I'm done letting this dictate my needs.

Life is not a dress rehearsal, you only get one shot.
Carpe' Diem ~ Sieze the moment 
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