Everyone has that one person in their life that can say or do one thing, and it changes your whole mood.
If I'm feeling attacked, I go on the defense, right off the bat. I do not attack back, I try hard to put it in such a way that whoever I'm debating with will check themselves.
I don't take inventory, and when I'm accused of that, its difficult not to act upon my human nature and do exactly what I'm being accused of. In the past 3 years I've learned a lot in my relationships.
I try not to be judgemental, I'm not in anyone's shoes but mine. What's a bit more difficult, especially when you've been through what I have is to not let old triggers come into current discussions. Perceptions are each persons truth, I've been told that many times.
So what happens when two people have two different perceptions about the same thing? Debate ensues, and for me at least, because I have always fought to be heard....not necessarily correct, but heard, debate becomes argument.
The one person in my life that can change that is Rik. He says or does one thing, that changes how I'm viewing something.