Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Sexual Harassment; A different perspective

I'll start this with a caveat; This is in no way a defense of current events that are happening around the globe and in our news. I cannot speak for the women who are currently going through this or have gone through this in the past. My belief and views should not negate what other women go through, nor the Law, or statue of what they are dealing with. It is not my place. 

I am speaking for me; and me alone. I believe each of us experience the same things in different ways. 

I've always been a hothead when it comes to politics, policy, rules, and guidelines, and this is no different. Should sexual harassment be taking place, and in what capacity does it become a law suit. 

This should come down to individual experience. Period. We have no right to judge what someone else has gone through. Question, yes, not judge. 

In 1987, I was working as a cocktail waitress in a local bar. The uniform back then was a black mini skirt, white tux shirt with a cummerbund and tie, and high heels. I was barely 22 years old, and did not question our "look". ( no, I have no photos..lol...) I did not date, and did not put up with men who made sexual innuendos. I was there for the job and paycheck. Period.  

When I switched from cocktail waitress to bouncer, my look did not change much. I was still required to wear skirts and heels, but I could choose my own clothing. 

The owner of the club I worked for was in "love" with me... and a few other girls. I considered him a friend only. He was about 6'5 and weighed about 600 pds. His frequent comment to my turning him down on a relationship was "It's because I am fat isn't it?" my answer was no, "it's because you are an alcoholic". That, and he was 22 years older than me. 

That said, he kept the guys away from me, either with his "looks" and intimidation, or flat out telling them I was his. Me being me, I would roll my eyes and tell him to get stuffed. He fired me at least once a week, and called me back to work the very next day after he would do it. 

He showed up at my parent's home in his limo one morning at 3am, and got my father pissed off as all get out, as his limo blocked my dad from leaving to work. My father then pounded on my bedroom door, getting me up. 

In the meantime, Steve was in the driveway, yelling that he was gonna marry me, or see me dead. He also pulled a 9mm on me and my cousin one night when I was being walked to my car at the club. Was this sexual harassment? I'm sure in other women's eyes it would have been. In mine, it was just flat out annoying.

The point I am attempting to make with this little story, is, I was smart enough to know that this was just a game with Steve. It was harmless. I'm also smart enough to know that women like Katie Couric "appears" to be jumping on the band wagon of sexual assault victims these days. Breaking her silence". 
Indeed. Did she really feel her livelihood was threatened by Matt Lauer? Was he really "pinching her on the ass" as reports say? Or is this all media hype because people want Trump out of office for his sexual misconduct. (Which, by the way was prior to him being in office.)
 It's entirely possible. However, I'm seeing a trend here and it's called diversion. Media blitz. Yada Yada.... Katie is and was in a position of power. Her Intellect put her there. Do we really want to believe that she would not have come forward when this was happening 14 years ago? Her salary was 15 million a year. 
I for one cannot believe that a woman in her position, or any position of power; ie: the rest we are reading about right now, would not speak up. She did stories on victims, and was one herself? I smell B.S. Why now? What's the benefit? The statue of limitations on Sexual assault in New York, (where the Today show is filmed) is 5 years. So this becomes a civil suit if true. In Virginia where Couric lives however the statue is 20 years. So this begs the question, why come forth now. 

I'm sorry folks, I just don't buy into this media frenzy of Sexual miss conduct. Do I think it happens? Yes, do I think the women that are coming forward now have had it happen to them? I just can't say. It's all allegation at this point, and I don't believe that anyone should be fired before a fair and impartial trial. IF that is, charges are even going to be filed. I also know that had it been sexual miss-conduct with me 30 years ago when I worked for Steve, you can bet your sweet ass I would have filed charges and pursued them. Then, not now. 

I've raised 3 boys, and if I ever caught wind of sexual miss conduct from them against a co-worker I would be the 1st to stand up for her. My boys would get a boot up their you know what for it too, along with any charges from the woman. 

I'll say this, what I do believe is how a man treats his mother is how he'll treat a woman.  I'd be interested to know what Matt Lauer's relationship with his mother was. 

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