I'm going to start this with a little caveat here. This in no way will change the core of who I am.
With that being said, I had quite an epiphany yesterday.
As most of you know, since the split with my husband, I have done some re-defining of my priority's and goals. However, those are being slowly de-railed due to me putting my self last. Of course we know my kids are 1st, but with 4 of them, in different schools, activities, and going in different directions, no help and dealing with a house that has been slowly falling apart, dealing with things left behind, clean up, and purging, plus trying to get in me time, things are getting out of hand.
My health is now becoming a major issue in the derailment of what I want, so I need to stop. Just stop, and focus again. This has not been by any means on purpose or easy to do what with all that I still have left to deal with here on the home front, but after realizing that I am now in a size 24" jeans, Its time for me, or I won't make it, and I have to make it for my kids, because there is no one else.
A lot of my close friends are aware of my illness, and I have always been pretty private about it, but here's the thing, when it has come to the point where it is affecting what I want, who I want, and where I want to be in life, it's time for help, and asking for help, and TRUST ME, I HATE asking for anything. I have always done things on my own. Even in my past relationships, I was the one who made things happen, got things done, or just moved on because it was not where I needed to be.
So beginning on Monday, I am making calls to my doctor whom I have not seen since November. I will be calling in favors for help with the schedule and kids. (which is another hard thing for me to do) but nuff said. There you go..... me time.