Saturday, April 30, 2011

Back to reality........ I'm putting friends on notice

I'm going to start this with a little caveat here. This in no way will change the core of who I am.

With that being said, I had quite an epiphany yesterday.

As most of you know, since the split with my husband, I have done some re-defining of my priority's and goals. However, those are being slowly de-railed due to me putting my self last. Of course we know my kids are 1st, but with 4 of them, in different schools, activities, and going in different directions, no help and dealing with a house that has been slowly falling apart, dealing with things left behind, clean up, and purging, plus trying to get in me time, things are getting out of hand.

My health is now becoming a major issue in the derailment of what I want, so I need to stop. Just stop, and focus again. This has not been by any means on purpose or easy to do what with all that I still have left to deal with here on the home front, but after realizing that I am now in a size 24" jeans, Its time for me, or I won't make it, and I have to make it for my kids, because there is no one else.

A lot of my close friends are aware of my illness, and I have always been pretty private about it, but here's the thing, when it has come to the point where it is affecting what I want, who I want, and where I want to be in life, it's time for help, and asking for help, and TRUST ME, I HATE asking for anything. I have always done things on my own. Even in my past relationships, I was the one who made things happen, got things done, or just moved on because it was not where I needed to be.

So beginning on Monday, I am making calls to my doctor whom I have not seen since November. I will be calling in favors for help with the schedule and kids. (which is another hard thing for me to do) but nuff said. There you go..... me time.

17 comments:

Lilacs said...

Very good for you! Taking that first step is always the biggest, and hardest one to make. You are doing it, have acknowleged what your issues are, and facing them too. I wish you only the best of luck, and please know it looks glum now, but things do get better. Life is what we make of it. You want it, and are going for it. Sometimes we have to let our pride down just a bit in order to take them first baby steps we must achieve. Good For You! Best of luck to you!:)

pugs said...

I know it wont be easy but glad you are going to do what you need to do... I know you will feel better about it in the long run and know it was the right thing. Making changes and getting ourselves straight is the toughest thing to do.

Kat Barton said...

Lilacs and pugs, Can I just say wow? Of all the people on my friends list for the both of you to comment on here just humbles me. Thank you ladies, and yes... pride is the advent of fools, a tough one for me to let go of right now. Again not on purpose, just so much I have been dealing with, I forgot about me.

Love you guys!

2woofers said...

As has been said before, "To thine own self be true." You can't give to others until you've taken care of yourself.

Kat Barton said...

A woofers! Love ya man. You've been there a lot lately and I thank you for it!

pugs said...

it's very easy to forget about ones self when we are so involved of the lives of those we love... and usually do not realize it till we are so drug down and tired... I know.. it happened to me... suddenly you find out just where you are and amazed you got there and knowing you need to get back but not quite sure how or wanting to admit that you are where you are and need to make changes

you have made the HUGE first step.. you will be fine :)

we love ya back :)

Kat Barton said...

I knew where I was Pugs, just kept ignoring it. It took someone I love to say something that woke me up. Someone I am not willing to loose over this.

Lilacs said...

Pride...we all been there, and dealt with it in our own way of things. I once was asked in an interview dealing with some health stuff for me...the gentleman wanted to know why I hadn't done something sooner & let it go so far. I used the word "Pride" He acted unsure of me saying that, and I asked him..."Would you like to admit that you are...??" He hesitated, and said No....and I reminded him it was not hiding it, but it had to do with pride..admitting to it, accepting it, and most of all..wanting the change. You will do fine Gypsy. Just 1 day at a time, and don't get frustrated, but doing the best that you can do is all that you can ask of yourself. The results are amazing, beautiful, and are also life changing....what a Great feeling it is!:) Have a blessed day Gypsy!:)

Kat Barton said...

Yep... pride is done. Can't do it alone, pulling in all my friends I can. We'll see who stays on my list and who does not.

Louella Garza said...

I wish you well my cousin.If there is anything I can do to help you please call and I will do what I can.

Kat Barton said...

Thank you Louella, love ya Cousin!

Yeshuazgirl said...

Wish I lived closer beauty I would help you in any way that I could including puttin your kiddos to work on me stalls and ridin till their butts fell off x0x0x0x0x0
But I CAN PRAY for you from here :) so that I will do in all sincerity and earnestness.
x0x0x0 Love Ya Beauty!

Kat Barton said...

Love you to beauty, and need all the prayer I can get. Your a gem honey!

blarney_stone said...

There will be times when you feel like you have to "do it"(whatever "it" is) "for the kids". I did. take time for you, and also some time to do "it" with the kids.

Probably the biggest mistake I made is working, and working, to keep things on the straight and narrow for us, that, I spent little time with my daughter, and didn't take much time for us. We are still pretty close, but I know that there are things I never learned about her growing up.

I don't know what I can do 1000 miles away, but you can always ask, and I will always try. ((Kat))

Kat Barton said...

Love ya Terri thanks for your support!

Laur said...

Here if you need me.

Kat Barton said...

I know Laur, and I love ya for it!