Grief is a funny thing. I'm OK, then not OK. It rears up and hits me, sometimes with a word, or a song... a picture, a card, or just out of nowhere. Yes, the current loss is new, fresh and I know it will take time.... a long time.
I've made a lot of choices in my life, some good, some not so good, but each one taught me something. Each lesson learned gave me an opportunity to grow.
I am grieving now, a hard choice, a hard lesson. Trying to deal with an old loss, and a new one. Trying not to blame the old one, for what is taking place now. In doing that, I would be denying those of you who have come into my life since.
I cannot deny that, nor my own nature. They bring me joy, comfort, love, support... some of you have become dear, very quickly. Some of you... whom I thought to let go of, indeed, almost did, are still on this journey with me.
With this new loss, I am given an opportunity to hope. A new journey begins, with new dreams. New love...new friendships. A future I will mold and shape to my passions.
I know I will have days where I will feel mired in, immobilized, and stuck, like today; but I also know those will pass ...and I will come out the stronger for them, wiser and more in tune with myself... my surroundings, and my friendships.
This is my time now, to be the best of me, to create.... to do what I know I can do. I will write my story, make my own music, forge my own path... All by design.
love and peace~
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