So one year ago today, my life turned up-side down. I have to say it's been one hell of a ride. Literally.
I was married to Paul for 14 years. We have 2 boys together and we raised my granddaughter also. I considered my life to be normal. House, mortgage, jobs, bills, kids... ect. Pretty much the "white picket fence" life. Suburban. Mundane, boring.
Society has a pre-concieved notion of what marriage is. I know I did. I believed in my vows. For better or worse, but what do you do when the other person no-longer believes that way? You roll with it, like I did. I can't say it's been easy, but it was not hard either. I changed how I looked at things. I had too.
Today, I am in a better place than I was a year ago. I've healed. What I went through made me who I am now. I am enjoying my life. Oh, don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, but that's life. My kids are better. We are moving on, growing and changing and having fun while we do it.
I have a man in my life that completes me. I love the freedom of loving him without expectation. I love that we are individuals, who can be apart and confident enough in each other to pursue what we want in life and still come together and be happy. Life is good today.
I'll leave you with this. A friend of mine wrote this and it is perfect for where I am at.
Life is so full of mystery, and it is so unpredictable, but what a wonderful thing it could be if it stands the test of time.
So few hearts find the courage to hold off the darkness of the unknown, and then get lost along the way. Make sure you stay on the path.
We all search.. sometimes it seems to the ends of the earth, but the nightmares of the past weigh so heavy and harden the soul, it shoves our chances of happiness to the side, prolonging our freedom from the chains that bind so tightly.
Forgive the demons that burden your heart with suspicion and pain, grasp what has been laid before you. Hold tightly for when you have lost it, it will be gone, many times forever.
So feel the warmth that you have so longed for, the tenderness of an embrace that comes from deep within, unleash the beast that has bound your soul, fill your eyes and heart with the happiness that that all the yesterdays took away, then realize and know the magic that you only dream of, and let it become your reality.
Thank you to Frank James (Rage on Stage) For sharing your musings with me.
1st day back to school! What can I say, this is my 2nd favorite time of year. NO KIDS IN THE HOUSE!!!
Most parents I know look forward to this day all summer. Sending the kids off is equal to semi retirment in my eyes. I get the house to myself, come and go as I please, and SLEEP if I want to!
This year, my kids are all old enough to where I don't have to worry about going to the schools with them, getting them organized, making sure the backpacks have all the neccsessites, ect... I can kick back and relax. They have reached the age of self suffeciency. BWAHHH HAAA HAAA.... who the hell am I kidding?
SO this morning starts off feeling like a Monday, and let me tell you, it deserves an oscar for it's preformance. (Borrowed that line) lol... but it fits. Up at 5am, coffee on, news, quiet..... sweet, then it begins. 1st kid up. (my children are on staggered school schedules) Antony leaves at 6:30am, Jacob leaves at 7:30 am, and Alexis and Gabriel leave at 9am. By the time Antony is out the door, they are ALL up! Dang, why can't they sleep a little bit? However, they did pretty good on being quiet, until Jake decides he is leaving early to meet Jefferey. THEN it begins.
In and out the door, my forever negotiator..... (
In the meantime, the dog needs to go out, Alexis gets up, *looks at me* says, I'm going back to bed. (Thank god!) and then Jake is out the door.
What a morning, and it's not even 7:30 am yet. Gabriel and Alexis leave at 8:55am, and then I have MY time. I had a list of things to do today, but you know what? I'm done for the morning. It can all wait till later.
I had all my tabs open on the computer, facebook, hootsuite, eBay, gmail, blogger, ect... I was working away. Now it's quiet again... SHHHH..... probably not for long since I just jinxed it and typed that one out, but I am making a fresh pot of coffee, and going to sit in the fresh air. I'm going to enjoy my 1st day without a thing to do. No, I don't want to hear it, the list? yea, does not exsist now, nothing to do. K? My day.
Well here we go again. So I log into my bonanzle account this morning, and low and behold, my Louis Vuitton Vintage watch is gone. "poof" AGAIN!
So, In the last several months, I had been watching the Purse forum through my Google Alert's, and also a new forum by the name of effenhaute.com Not sure where the tagging and bombing came from, and it does not really matter. What matter's is these "self-proclaimed experts", are deliberately going after my business and now are making this very very personal.
Just a re-cap, for those of you who do not know the story behind this watch. It was originally listed in September of 2009. In November, it was tagged, and removed. I chatted with the site, (bonanzle.com) and the owners, and the watch was immediately re-listed. Everyone who has heard this story cringes. My feelings on this is if there was some sort of proof of a claim that the watch was indeed "fake" then the person needs to provide that, and we can all move on. At this point in time, "proof" has still not been provided. There has never been any contact between myself as a seller and the person who has decided this watch is a fake.
So, here we are in June of 2010, and once again, I am being signaled out by these people, and again with no proof to back up the claim. It was suggested at one point for me to join this forum, The purse forum and address the issue. HA HA HA. I think not. I did a bit of research on the original poster that decided he did not like my watch. Maybe competition for him? Who knows, but the point is, why would anyone of a business mind, want to join a forum where a 18 year old is making a claim against someone he know's nothing about, and insists that he is right. Oh, and let me clarify, he will be 19 in September. Lives in Hawaii, and probably thinks he knows it all, as teenagers do. (Yes, I do know who you are, and have the decency not to list your posting ID.) That would be called "being professional". SO Not on your life will I ever join this place. I have watched the forum and my views on this watch for months now. Let me tell you, the people who are going here to "authenticate" the items they are interested in buying are getting nothing but opinions, and that is all they are, from kids. Plain and simple. Kids who have nothing better to do than to make false claims they cannot back up with real proof. One of the alerts that came up, was a young lady who was 17 and asking for advice about her boyfriend on facebook, who may or may not be cheating on her with an on-line friend. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is the "reputable forum that thousands of people go to for advice on the money they are going to spend?
This question is for the buyer's. WHY would any of you in your right mind, not research an item, in a reputable manner? Your looking to spend thousands of dollars on a purse or a scarf, or trinket with a brand name, and yet you go to a forum on the internet? Oh yeah, they are so good at spotting the fake's. These people are kids. Put it in your Google alert's. Watch how professional they are when it comes to ripping people down and putting people out of business. Ruthless, and they are kids!
So take some advice people. Do it the right way. Go to the actual dealer. If you do not know the product you are going to buy, then research it, but do NOT use a forum on the internet that allows kids to make decisions about your money and other peoples business.
I don't know, It could be the stress I have been under lately, It could be the planet alignment or it could be that some people were just not raised with social skills or manners and doing what's right. (I think the latter is more apropos to what took place.)
It does not excuse my behavior, but I will say this. I am human, and it was definitely the last straw in a very long day.
A little back ground. I have a 10 year old son, who always, always, goes for the underdog. (takes after me) So last school year he made friends with a boy, (we'll call him J) and I knew the boy from school. I help in the mornings at the kid's school, and I also work with the counselor there. So the counselor and I had discussed my sons relationship with this boy, and I had decided to keep an eye on things. They were only friends at school at this point. There is a 3rd child involved here, but I have been OK with him.
So one day after school these 2 boys drop by. Now I was raised, and raise my children the same, no kids over unless I know the parent. Period. So.. I sent the boys home. This little scenario continued for about a month. We'll finally I met "J's" mother. Seems nice, sat and visited for a few, and I gave her my business card and home #. My schedule was also duly noted. No kids after school, I work from home, and plz call a day in advance for weekend activities. (I have 4 kids here) ALSO, I DON'T BABYSIT.
So all seems well.. right? Good boundaries, rules in place, mother met. NOPE! Now that mother has my phone# I am called constantly, and never is my son invited to her home, always it is "can my son come to your place". WHAT?? One, we have 4 kids, different directions and I WORK from home!!! HELLO.. well at this point, I am not arranging to many activities, but I have let her boy come over a couple of times. Then it becomes where she is just rude when I say no, I am busy. Comments like, oh, I thought so, and so on.
SO the 1st day of summer rolls around, and she shows up with out calling. Summer.. OK, my kid's are out, but I STILL WORK FROM HOME. You getting the picture here? So she drops by, and asks if she can leave "J" while she runs to Seattle to pick up her pay check. OK... 2 hours tops? I have a meeting and an account I am trying to pin down and I cannot have the extra kid around. Mine are suppose to go with Grandma for this.
Well needless to say leaves him.... and never comes back. Does not answer phone, and never later says anything to me. My oldest son walked "J" home at 8pm that evening and I looked at my husband and said that's it. I am done. This woman continues to call to try to make time for the kids, AT MY HOME... no.. I blow her off each time. They finally they moved. THANK GOD!
So life goes on....
Now it is Friday, of this week. I get up Friday morning, and My oldest boy has track. It is a half day so I know the day is going to be long anyway. I am waiting on a package from Great Britain, but it still has not arrived. When the kids arrive home, I check the mail.
1st thing to set me off. I have an attempt at delivery. WHAT? sigh.......... this is like the 5th time my postal carrier has decided I am not here when I am and just didn't do his job. SO, I call the post office. The supervisor says he'll call the carrier, then call me back. OK.. he calls back. Apparently, the carriers cell is disconnected. Nice huh? Half the people in this country out of work, and this one has a job, but can't do it.
The day rolls on.. I take the kids, drop Antony at the track, go grocery shop, and then stop by post office because they called and said my package was there. During this, I almost was in 3 wrecks due to idiot people and my kids fighting in the back seat. I am frazzled OK?
About now I am looking like medusa, and really needing to just go home. Not Happening.
2nd thing to set me off. I go in, kids in tow, and the person I had talked to was not there, and neither was my package. Well.. fine. Now I am angry, but still holding it together. The person I do talk to gets mouthy with me, and so I blow... yep.. I blow. I am calling the flippin post master. (not the word I used) Sigh... so another gentleman steps in and says nice language lady. OK, he's right, and yes my kids are with me, but I am on a roll now. I whip around an shoot him the bird, then say how do you know I don't have tourette's? A** and proceed to leave.
I get in my jeep, get the kids in, and call my husband. PLEASE come home.. I am not having a good day and it is getting worse. What's wrong he says... I am almost crying.. IDK.. but just come home. OK,he is on his way. In the meantime, my son calls, he is done with track. I pick him up and take him and the kid's home. I decide at this point to call in pizza, and go pick it up, and meet hubby at bank. I leave the little ones.. 8, 9, and 10, with my 14 year old and go. I am a bit calmer now that hubby is coming home. Banking done, and pizza picked up, we head home. Me in the Jeep and him behind me in Taurus.
NOW.............I come around this sharp corner we have on the back road to the house. I am coming up to my house, which has a wrap around drive. In the driveway we don't use, is a vehicle I recognize. OMG.. and kids in my yard. I slam on my brakes, back up squealing the tires, and pull into the neighbors drive. I jump out of my jeep and tell "j's" mother to get her flippin punk kid, and her flippin car off my flippin property, then I holler at my son, who is watching this (with huge grin)my own cheerleading section here, he's 14 OK? and say get my gun, (don't have one), get my badge, (have one, but not active, and call the cops. This woman, gets out of her vehicle. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????
What''s wrong she say's... why are you swearing at me.. OMG... because.... because I say. I don't like you, I don't like your kid, (not true about her kid) but I have truly lost it now, and your a sorry excuse for a mother, Get the FFFFFFFF out of here. In the meantime, my hubby had driven by, and turned the corner, and pulled into the drive we do use. I get back in my jeep, slam it in revers, squeal tires for more effect here and do the same. (she has gone at this point) and I get out and GLARE DAGGERS at hubby and slam into house.
He is such a chicken...lol.. so. That was my public meltdown. Do I act like this in general? God no.... OMG.. I never blow like this. It could have been handled so much differently. Do I regret it? Nope, because now I do not have to deal with a woman who does not know anything about manners and social boundaries. I feel a bit bad that my kids watched this... but hey. I am human.
