Friday, September 27, 2013


Growing up with an older brother, who was smart, a goody two shoes, honor roll, Straight A's, and never got into trouble was not an easy task. 

Starting high school, I was always greeted with the phrase, "oh, you're _____ little sister." 

Um, yea... I have a name. This went on for quite sometime. I think I decided by the time I hit my sophomore year, I was going to make my own name. Screw him, who the hell does he think he is? Pompous  and sanctimonious came to mind. A LOT. 

I ran with every crowd there was. Where I grew up, it was quite the "cliquey" little town. Social status was based on address, clothing, and who was in the coolest groups. You're typical small town mentality. 

I had a astigmatism in my left eye, and back in the day, to be able to get contacts, you would have to wear hard ones. I did, because being called 4 eyes was not to my liking. I broke my glasses twice, on purpose to be able to get the coveted contacts. 

My high school had a swimming pool that we used frequently. The drawback for me was the chlorine and contacts combined, left my eyes blood shot. unbeknownst to me, it was being reported to my parents that I was smoking pot, and using drugs. I was not at this point, but soon became tired of defending myself, and the constant fighting at home, that I did start using. Whats funny is, I was not experimenting with what I was being accused of. Nope! With my now typical "fuck you" attitude, I took it up a notch and started with Acid. 

Oh, don't get me wrong, I had booze, in fact my 1st big indecent came when I stole a bottle of my dad's Drambuie, and drank it straight in a half hour time period, and proceeded to pass out on the 50 yard line at the homecoming game during half time. I was taken home in an ambulance, and my mother dragged my butt to church the next day. )Like that helped) 

I also tried pot, and did not like it. Nor did I go back to the booze hardcore. My score was the acid. I was in love with it. It was beautiful. I could function fully, but everything in my world just became brighter and happier. I can only thank god that, it was a seasonal drug at the time, and I could only get it during the late summer and early fall months. 

This carried me through high school, where I finally became so bored with the whole rebellion idea and drug's, (it was becoming to cliche)  that I figured I would take this game I was playing up another notch. Ohhh... what to do, what to do. Wait, I know.... I'll get kicked out my senior year. Therefore  I would not be labeled a dropout, I could blame it on the school. I set out to do this by skipping enough days to not have all my required credit, so bottom line was, after 19 days, right prior to to the end of the year. I was called before the board along with my parents, and let go. 

I turned around and did another "fuck you," and attended college that summer for a month and graduated anyway with my diploma. The I took off for parts unknown for three year's, finally surfacing when I became pregnant with my daughter. 

Time to grow up.... but that is another story for later. 


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