Ferris Wheel

I want more.... I am at a point and time in my life, where I just want more. Not material possessions  but more substance in my personal life. 

Circles.... slow motion circles 

Stability, income, normalcy. Love, support, longevity. Not this constant circle I am on. Not so much a roller coaster, more like a Ferris wheel, that keeps going in circles, in slow motion, almost as to say, this is what you are doing. This is where you are, and it's not going to change until I jump off and find a different ride. 

It's all very surreal, and some of it is Deja' vu.....

Names, jobs, income, and living arrangements are different, but the circle is the same. Just the colors of the cars I am in have changed. 

So what am I doing wrong that keeps me on this endless motionless circle, that is moving, but not moving? What is it in me, that feels the need to make the same choices over and over again? I know I am not doing it on purpose, I can't control what my heart tells me, I go with it... so why can I not recognize that I am creating this endless ride, again and again.....