Shutting down....

I have gone through so many changes in the last 3 years. I'm tired.... tired of all the changes, tired of betrayals, tired of disappointments.....just tired. 

I'm shutting down. It used to be, I would reach out, keep my friends close, just hearing a kind word, or getting a hug, even the feeling that someone cared, helped. A simple phone call could peel me off the ceiling. Going out with friends, would get me out of myself enough to be able to process what was happening. For some reason lately, none of those things are helping.. 

I've considered many options lately, and just don't seem to have the energy to follow through... my thoughts are scattered and I'm losing focus. Writing would help, but even that is not really doing anything for me at the moment. 

I'm numb, shattered, broken, and just plain lost. I need to make some decisions and I am just unable to... what's right? what's wrong...... I don't know anymore......