Pain

Anger and rage spit out through venomous tongues, torturous nightmares mixed with pleasantries that will never come, my head spins and tosses, this insane moment, back and forth, and to what extent does the spinning stop? 

The dreams, do they ever fail to leave me miserable, broken and alone? The pain, does it ever take a break, dose it not need a break? The voices that pull from within, which one is the voice of truth and which the voice of destruction? 

So similar.  What part of this cycle do I come down to my little world and face the travesties, the effects of my true nature?  Do I ever. I feel what seems to only be drawn out by blood, but I hear EVERYTHING. I see what comes before it has arrived, yet I can't change it, I can't stop it. Nothing does.   Had I tried to change  the past,  the future would still hold the same outcomes,  the same scars and pain, the nightmares that never end, and the voices pulling from within. 

I have to stop this... endless cycle, round and round we go.... no new beginning, no ending in sight... nerves, on high alert, waiting for the next hit, the next failure. Sleepless nights, darkness falls, dreams; vague, scary, repeating. 

Go away pain... take a break, leave me be. You broke your promise pain. You said you would stop.