Why should I?

Confusion sets in and I'm lost in my head, not knowing which way to turn, if I should run or walk at a slow pace. 

Not knowing which decision is right, which one will bring me the happiness I deserve... Wanting my all my everything, RIGHT NOW. 

My efforts are few and recently far between as I loose myself inside of my self.  How does that work? I'm really not sure but its happening this very moment even as I type these words.  

Wishing for what I see when I stroll through the parks laid out in the narrow corridors of my mind, the love and happiness when their eyes meet, through the judgment through the pain they don't care. 

So why do I? Why do I; when they don't. I'm only one, I can't do it all. They have to do some too... it's the mirror affect. What they see in me, the things that make them angry, or what is in them. 

Beat down, by the system, by people who professed to care, by choices.... they don't care... so why should I? Tired of all the years of struggle, fighting for what's right.